
Terraforming For Dummies: Chapter 7 - Suns and Sunshine Management

What if there were a magical ball in the sky that sent out constant, hot rays of grow-juice<em>for free! </em>

And what if it was always there, day after day, spreading its magical grow-juice over the <em>entire </em>planet?

<strong>We've got some good news: </strong>Terranova has partnered with Baalite Deep Space Survey Consortium to locate, claim, and cleanse <em>only </em>those systems containing the finest Class A, main-sequence stellar bodies! That means your future home will contain one, two, or possibly even three suns with no dwarfs, black holes, or shoddy Class B red giants! ^<em>(except as specified below)</em>

Terranova recognizes that many immigrants are former residents of enclosed artificial environments, and that as such you may be unfamiliar with sunshine, warmth, and other natural sun-related products. Well, stop cowering in that dingy pod! Come on out and take a look at your new best friend, the sun!^^

Your sun (or suns) can do many things for you, such as:

 Make crops grow
 Keep you warm
 Burnish your skin to a rich mahogany color
 Kill ants^^^
 Tell you when sleep and when to wake up
 Generate power when used with a Terranova-brand Ray-Gobbler Solar Panel
 Pass judgment on the weak

Troubleshooting Your Sun:

<strong>Problem: </strong>I can't see the sun.

<strong>Solution: </strong>Review this handy checklist for some common causes of this issue^^^^:

 Are you standing inside a building? If so, are there any windows around you? Please move outside if you don't see any windows.
 Are your eyes closed? Please open them, if so
 Is it nighttime? If so, wait several hours, then check again.

<strong>Problem: </strong>I love the sun, and spend as much time as possible with it. However, my skin sometimes becomes painful and red.

<strong>Solution: </strong>While the sun <em>is </em>your friend, it will also occasionally damage and destroy your tissue down to the DNA level. Sorry!

<strong>Problem: </strong>I gazed into the sun and now I can't see anything.

<strong>Solution: </strong>Try blinking. If that doesn't work, consult the nearest medical officer about getting a replacement for your eyes. You may have permanently damaged them.

<em>^Warranty excludes planets Infernium IV, V, and VI, as well as Morpheum II. Suns may not be exchanged or replaced. Warranty does not cover unexpected supernova, natural dimming due to hydrogen exhaustion, or extraterrestrial tampering of any kind.</em>

<em>^^Residents of Infernium IV, V, and VI: do not under any circumstances look at your sun. You will be consumed.</em>

<em>^^^Non-mutated ant strains only.</em>

<em>^^^^Please Note: residents of Morpheum II will never see the sun, ever. Only the creeping darkness of a black hole hanging in the sky as it sucks all light and happiness down into it's unfathomable maw.</em>
